How To Overcome Fear: The Journey

Knowing how to overcome fear isn’t a quick fix. It’s not a matter of just doing ‘xyz’ and then that’s it, you’ve overcome your fear.

I like to say, “it’s an ongoing process”. Or, to be more succinct, “learning how to overcome fear is a personal development journey“.

Fear is a natural part of life. However, a lot of people don’t realise that ultimately, we have a choice as to how we live with fear. And perhaps more importantly, how we can overcome it.

I’d like to discuss how it’s possible to modify and adapt the principals and philosophies of martial arts, so that all people regardless of their age, fitness level or body type can do this. Over the course of my thirty plus year career, I’ve helped thousands of people learn how to prevail and overcome their fear

Getting Back To Basics

In ancient times, long before there was technology, soldiers used Martial Arts to fight their enemies in battle. That was all well and good for back then.

Now, I’ll go out on a limb here; I’m going to say that in today’s world, you don’t go out looking for fights. You don’t have a need to beat up on people. And, you would prefer to have a peaceful life, that’s filled with love… right? Thankfully, my research has shown how this is the case for the majority of people.

Yet despite this, there’s still an enemy out there. It’s a very formidable enemy who we must all square up to on a daily basis. The enemy that you, your children… and me, are most likely to be faced with, is that niggling inner voice.

You know the one. It sabotages confidence. It creates a low self-esteem, self-doubt and a lack of focus. The fallout from succumbing to this voice could be acute loneliness, depression, substance abuse or even obesity. This sneaky, yet powerful adversary has the potential to ruin lives.

So Who Or What Is This Enemy?

This persistent little voice is a manifestation of our ego. It takes great delight chipping away inside our heads with whining negativities such as:

“I can’t…”

“I’m too…”

“Everyone else is…”

Negative self-talk like this can be debilitating for anyone. However for kids, it may result in devastating consequences. This voice is what’s responsible for children to believe that they shouldn’t be like how they are. The negativity caused by this inner voice can soon lead to kids doubting their self-worth. If this voice isn’t countered by some sort of personal development, their destructive beliefs can escalate into subjective truths. Kids can go into adulthood carrying the burden of believing that they’re flawed, weird and unlikable. In my line of work, I see this all the time.

It doesn’t matter where the negativity within a child arises from either. It could be from an external source, such as from bullying or a chaotic home life. Conversely, the negativity could come from within.

I’ve noticed there’s a common denominator with people who are pre-occupied with the narrative from their little voice. And that is, they’re the ones with the tendency to constantly wrestle with anxiety.

So what is anxiety? Well, I believe it’s a fear. Anxiety is when people are worried about dealing with future events. While being depressed is ruminating on the past.

One of the keys to overcoming the fears of anxiety or depression is to become present. To be in this moment, and not being caught in the past or to worry about the future. Personal practices such as martial arts, yoga and meditation are popular for a reason. Each of these disciplines provide the common benefit of forcing practitioners to be present. It’s worth mentioning that you don’t have to choose just one of these practices either. I’ve integrated all three into my life because I’ve found that this works for me.

Kids Need All the Help They Can Get

It’s important that kids learn how to engage with all sorts of people so they may participate in society. Children in particular need something to keep them in the present and to be grounded.

Sadly though, our youth is now facing yet another scourge; screen addiction. Regardless if they realise it or not, all people want and need to be in the present moment at some time. Kids tend to gravitate to their devices for a quick fix to achieve this. Devices help young people to disengage with their stress or the drudgery of everyday life.

Devices may keep kids present but they definitely do not help to ground them. It’s well documented that despite all this ‘connectivity’, people have never felt so alone or isolated as they do now. When kids are struggling, parents often find that just talking about self-esteem issues can be very difficult. Then, the prospect of actually doing something about it, can seem just about impossible.

Unmasking Fear

Another generality I’ve noticed about human nature is that it’s very common for individuals to hold themselves back in life. Many people only realise a fraction of their potential. Why do they do this? The reason is simple. It’s due to fear.

Fear is rampant in our society. Every person on the planet must deal with their own fears. As I mentioned, it could be the fear of the future or of the past. It may be the fear of failure. It could be the fear of looking stupid, the fear of not being accepted or not being good enough. The list of possible human fears is a long one. However, it doesn’t really matter what an individual’s fear is. The point is, if any predominant fear is left unchecked, it can block a person’s sense of well-being and happiness.

This is a universal principal because it effects everyone regardless of their age, background or station in life. Therefore, it’s essential that we’re constantly mindful about how to overcome the fears within our life. If we don’t, the ramifications for not doing so could be dire, which I’ll touch on later. Unfortunately though, many people simply can’t face up to their fears. At least not without some help and guidance.

We all know individuals who become physically sick or paralyzed by just the thought of doing it. Yet, this potentially terror provoking activity is physically harmless. The fear is 100% mental.

However, although extroverted people may thrive at the prospect of public speaking. They may be terrified of being rejected, contracting an illness or not being smart enough to pass an exam.

The media constantly exploit this. They constantly fan the flames of this fear within us. Flick on the TV now and look at a news channel or check the news feed on your phone. Chances are, there’s an instance of violence unfolding somewhere, right now.

This constant exposure to violence can create an existential anxiety within individuals and in the collective consciousness of our society. As we’ve discussed, anxiety is a fear.

I experienced this myself in early 2020 as the Covid-19 global pandemic first began to unfold. During this time, the TV was on all day. For weeks, I was glued to the news channel trying to make sense of this unprecedented situation. It felt like my life and business were on the line and I recall feeling extremely anxious. I was constantly worrying about it and to be honest, to some extent I still am. Interestingly, I’ve discovered through self-reflection that my anxiousness has arisen from my fear of not being in control.

What’s The Cost?

The effect of experiencing prolonged fear on any level is that it restricts our sense of feeling secure and being optimistic. Fear can harden the heart, so it’s more difficult to feel love, compassion and generosity. It robs us of our innate sensitivity, so instead of living life, we merely exist, in survival mode. The list goes on; none of it good or empowering.

So, This Relates To Martial Arts Training… How?

As I mentioned earlier, the fear of a physical attack is one of the most common fears in our society. Interestingly, martial arts students soon learn that the fear of being hit is often worse than actually being hit. So, by demystifying and dealing with this big fear, the other little fears in life soon begin to dissipate.

How is this achieved? Well, the first step is to develop insight about the relationship you have with your own particular fear, or fears. Insight and clarity about any issue in life helps to develop resolve; which leads to courage.

This is the key point. Developing courage is crucial because it’s only possible to truly overcome fear by facing it, head on. For example, the only way to defeat the fear of public speaking is to do it, such as by joining Toastmasters.

You can only overcome the fear of being hit by experiencing it, such as by learning traditional martial arts. Courage gives you the power to explore, clarify and then conquer your fear. This process is also the means to becoming resilient and strong, which are other vital components for prevailing over fear.

People who work on themselves in these ways start to feel more self-reliant. They begin to trust their own judgment and thoughts. They don’t need to seek approval from their peer group. These are the life skills, that help people to develop a well-grounded confidence, which doesn’t originate from their ego. And, just as importantly, stops them from reacting to the ego of someone else.

A positive mental attitude such as this, leads to the expulsion of fear, which then increases self-esteem, which leads to the freedom of being you.

Being Steady, Focused And Other Attributes

In fact, the concept of banishing fear is the main aim of my personal development training. I work on helping people to be less reactive so they may respond to problems or difficulties. I help people learn how to deal with stress without flying off the handle or crumpling into a heap. As well as that, I help kids learn how to be steady and focused. The bonus of this process is that all students regardless of age also learn about respect; for themselves and towards others.

These insights can lead students towards more fulfilling relationships. Being able to overcome fear instils the strength that’s needed to move on from people, relationships and situations that no longer serve you. Personal development training helps make the pursuit of a productive and stable life seem normal; rather than it seeming unattainable.

This is another reason why martial arts has been so popular over the centuries. It has the physical component. Plus, there’s the ethical framework. As well as that, it has the tactics and strategies that are essential for dealing with conflict and adversity. There’s a lot to draw from and work with

Here’s the good news. You can start to overcome fear and become the best version of yourself, if you just try to be. If we can be honest with ourselves and confront our fears, our place in the world begins to make sense. We can steadily let go of our doubt’s and insecurities and subsequently, become the best possible versions of ourselves.

If you embark on this journey of self-discovery, you’ll quickly notice how life’s upsets won’t seem to affect you as they once did. I’ve discovered how to utilise martial arts training as a vehicle for personal development. I can also help you on your journey, no matter where you are right now.

You can find out more here.

If you’d like to contact me please click here